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HOWARD STERN SHOW 2-8-08 MasterTape Theatre 11-17-03 64K MP3 CF
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Mastertape Theatre - November 17, 2003. 02/08/08. 6:00am
American Music Award Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:10am
Rich Kid Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:20am
Howard's Talks About His Weekend. 11/17/2003. 6:30am
Hot Chick's Talking About Howard. 11/17/2003. 6:55am
F-Emmy (FME) Award For Best Phony Phone Call To A TV Host. 11/17/2003. 7:10am
John Travolta's Home Runway And More. 11/17/2003. 7:35am
Best Staff Fight'' F-Emmy Award. 11/17/2003. 7:55am
Wackiest Phone Caller'' F-Emmy Award With Chuck Norris. 11/17/2003. 8:15am
More American Music Awards Discussion. 11/17/2003. 8:25am
New Beatles CD Discussed. 11/17/2003. 9:00am
A Horny Lesbian Plays ''Benjy Blows The Shophar.'' 11/17/2003. 9:15am
Robin's News. 11/17/2003. 9:25am
Howard 100 News
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Friday, February 8, 2008
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Mastertape Theatre - November 17, 2003. 02/08/08. 6:00am
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Today's Howard Stern Mastertape Theatre was a replay of the November 17, 2003 Howard Stern Show..
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Football Pool Update. 11/17/2003. 6:00am
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Show opening bits and songs included: ''Roman Polanski Day Care and Dating Service'' commercial parody, Fiona Apple performs ''Sleep to Dream'' live in the studio.
Howard started the morning talking about the Kansas City Chiefs saying that Artie told him that they're the best team in the NFL at this point. The guys talked about them for a short time and about some other teams.
Howard then moved on to the big $25,000 football pool and said that Daniel Carver has now moved into the lead. Howard gave a quick run down of how everyone is doing in the pool at this point. Artie lost so he's fallen behind Daniel Carver.
Artie said he's been betting on the games so he hasn't been doing so well for the past few weeks. He's been losing like crazy. Gary the Retard won while Sanders the Chicken lost this week. Artie said he thinks that the chicken will end up beating him this year as well. Howard said he knows that Artie spends all week picking these teams so it's a big deal to him. Artie said of course he puts some time into it. He got some suggestions from this guy Vinnie and he still ended up losing. Artie said that he wants to make that really big bet at the end of the season.
Here's how everyone stands at this point:
Gary the Retard 5 Wins, 4 Losses, 2 Push (or 4-6-1 according to Howard)
Sanders the Chicken - 4 Wins, 6 Losses 1 Push
Daniel Carver - 7 Wins, 4 Losses
Artie - 6 Wins, 5 Losses
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American Music Award Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:10am
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Howard went on to take some phone calls and talked about the American Music Awards after someone brought them up. The caller who brought them up was talking about how boring the show was and how bad Britney Spears and some of the other acts were. Howard said the show was really boring to him. He said that Britney was dressed up like a super hero for some reason and she didn't look good. She's been on every other show so Howard said that they seem to be afraid of letting her on his show. Howard and the caller also talked about how she's not in that great shape. She was lip syncing on the awards show and she must not have been able to hear what she was singing to.
The caller said that Kid Rock was pretty good and he was there with Pamela Anderson. They said that Tommy Lee is rumored to be with Pink now. Howard said her song was horrible as well. Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel was pretty funny as the host. He said he wasn't dressed very well though. He said that Jimmy was trying to dress cool but it wasn't working for him. He thinks that he should go with what his strengths are and not try to dress the way he was.
Howard took another call about the American Music Awards. The guy brought up how bad Rod Stewart was so they talked about that for a little while. Howard said he's turning into an elf now and he was hard to watch. Another caller brought up Britney Spears again so Howard was wondering why they don't let her come on his show. Artie told him that in a year or so she'll need to sell albums and she'll be begging to come on his show. Howard had to take a break before moving on to the F-Emmys and stuff like that.
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Rich Kid Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:20am
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After the (edited out for Mastertape) break Howard said that Robin has seen the show ''Born Rich'' on HBO and she says that it's pretty good. She told Howard that they were driving around the city and pointing out the buildings that their family owns. Stuttering John came in and said that the show is great but the kids are miserable. They're upset that they're rich according to John and Robin. They talked about how these kids were complaining about their parents making them rich. Robin said that they think that they're cut off from the rest of the world because of their wealth.
John and Robin said that the kids are still young too. Artie said Stuttering John was watching that show as he was getting ready to go to work a gig at the Stress Factory.
Howard said his kids don't like it when he shows up in a limo to pick them up. He said he went to his Aunt Sally's birthday show and his nieces and nephews love the limo. Robin said that the kids on that show get pissed because the money is just given to them.
Howard said that when he was out on Long Island there were a lot of rich kids out there and they'd all goof on each other about the kinds of cars they would drive. Sometimes the cars would be too nice and kids would goof on the others about that. Artie said if he was one of those kids he'd open a landscaping company or something like that, just to get away from the rich kid thing. Howard said they could become a karate instructor but they apparently don't want to do anything like that.
Robin said that the kids want to be the best at whatever it is they're doing. She mentioned Paris Hilton at one point so Howard talked about how he thinks that she's might be kind of happy about everything that's going on surrounding her sex video. That led to Howard bringing up how they had this Playboy model Nicole Lenz on the show a couple of years ago and it's rumored that she's the one in one of the Paris Hilton videos. Howard played the clip they had where she talks about how she had oral performed on her one time with one girl. Howard says that it's possible that it's Paris Hilton she was talking about. Here's an excerpt from my write up that day: One caller told Howard to have the girls kiss before they left. Howard then asked the girls if they ever did any lesbian stuff. A couple of them had so there was renewed interest in talking to them. Nicole said she never did anything to anyone but a woman gave her oral one time. She said she was drunk and partying and she couldn't say no once the woman
started on her. She said it wasn't as good as a guy could do so she didn't orgasm.
After playing the clip Howard said they probably could have gotten more out of her but Gary sounded like a pitbull during the interview. He was talking about his pants getting tight and going nuts. Howard said that it could have been her talking about Paris Hilton that day but they're not sure about that.
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Howard's Talks About His Weekend. 11/17/2003. 6:30am
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Howard said he had a really nice weekend. He went out to Nobu on Friday night with some friends. He said he had a little bit of a celebrity run in while he was there. He said this guy Jerry Inzarella was there and he said hello to him. He said that Jerry seems to know a lot of celebrities. Howard said he was having dinner with Naomi Campbell and some other people. Jerry asked Howard to stop by the table before he left so he stopped by and said hi to Naomi and she gave him a quick hello and that was it.
Howard said Quincy Jones then stood up and said hello as well. Howard said he was more excited to meet him than Naomi. Quincy brought up the tapes that Howard has played of him at some award show where he was drunk and barely making any sense. Howard said Quincy wants a copy of the tape because he thinks he's the funniest thing he's ever done. Howard said the guy has a great sense of humor.
Artie said that he knows Quincy because he produced ''MAD TV'' when he was on it. He said that he was a really good guy and treated him really well when he was having his drug problems. Howard talked about him for a short time and then said that Naomi seemed to have a stick up her ass or something. Howard said he doesn't even recall looking at her when he was there so he's not sure how she looked in person. Howard said Quincy looked pretty good.
Artie said he got to fly on a private jet with Quincy one time but the guy didn't talk to him much. He said he tried to make small talk with one of his daughters instead. He wasn't sure which one it was though. He said she got on her phone and talked to one of her friends for about 4 hours of the 6 hour flight. He said he just ordered more and more food to stay busy. Howard said that's what he should do on a private jet flight like that.
Howard said he took his kids out to John George on Saturday night. He said he didn't go outside much when he was home this weekend. He said that he was on the computer the whole weekend instead. He said he was having fun taking pictures and printing them out.
Howard said he uses good quality photo paper to print out his pictures and they look just like real pictures. He said he has a Canon printer that he uses with the good paper and they come out great. Robin sounded pretty impressed but Howard said it's not all that hard to do.
The pictures he was taking were of his dog Bianca so they ended up talking about her for a little while. Robin wondered what ever happened to that bit they were going to do where Artie was going to race the dog. Howard said they just never did it but the dog would have beaten Artie's ass. Artie insists that he doesn't hate dogs but Howard thought that he did based on what he's said about them before.
Howard took some more phone calls and hung up on a couple of guys because their calls were kind of pointless. One guy said that Rush Limbaugh is supposed to be back on the air today. Howard said that he'll probably pick up right where he left off and not even talk about his rehab once he's back on air.
The same caller asked Howard when the uncensored E! show video is going to be out. Howard said he hoped to have had it out by Christmas but it's not ready yet. He said he doesn't think it matters, they'll put it out when it's ready. Howard and Artie continued to goof on Rush for a short time. Howard said he could make that whole thing great if it was him. He would have the woman who dealt him the drugs on to talk about all of that. Artie did his impression of Rush for a short time and goofed on the whole situation until Howard went to another commercial break.
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Hot Chick's Talking About Howard. 11/17/2003. 6:55am
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After the break Howard said he had some tape of something that was mentioned about him on a few shows. He played something from Good Day Live where the cast of ''Charmed'' was being interviewed. They ended up talking about being interviewed by Howard. Howard said he doesn't know what they were talking about but he likes the fact that hot chicks are talking about him.
Howard said that Alyssa Milano has never been on the show but Robin corrected him and said that she was on many years ago when she stopped by during an awards show they were at. Robin also brought up how Jillian Barberi from Good Day Live dyed her hair so she could be on Hollywood Squares during Blonde Week. Howard said she's like Paris Hilton in the way she loves to be on camera.
Howard said that he got a note from Angie Everhart who told him that she's going to be on Hollywood Squares soon. Howard came up with some ideas for special weeks they could do on that show if they were producing it. Howard moved on to play a few more clips from various news programs where his name was mentioned. He had a few quick mentions from various shows. One of them was from a very boring PBS show so Howard bailed out on that one and moved right into the F-Emmy Awards.
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F-Emmy (FME) Award For Best Phony Phone Call To A TV Host. 11/17/2003. 7:10am
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Howard started the F-Emmy Awards again and joked that Rush Limbaugh was in the audience after coming back from the janitor trying to get some drugs. He said Craig Kilborn had to show security his ID a few times since no one knows who he is. He said that Ashton Kutcher was there with his mom... Robin corrected him and said that it was Demi Moore, not his mother. Howard said that Siegfried from Siegfried and Roy was there. He said that he didn't want to say who he was with but there might be a new show called ''Siegfried and KC.''
Howard moved on to the first category today which was ''Best Phony Phone Call to a TV Host.'' He said that all of the calls were made by Captain Janks so they had to pick the winner from the victims. First up was Janks' call to an L.A. news team during the fires out in California. Janks called as ''Mark Mercer'' (Janks doing an odd tribute to me) during this call. The second nominee was the show Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain when Janks called in and asked him if he'd like Howard Stern's ball sack. The third nominee was a sports show where Janks called in and asked them if they like Howard Stern's balls and asked if they sucked dick in a second call and then said ''F-you'' in a third call. Next up was Dan Patrick who took a call from Janks who called in as Steve Bartman, the guy who screwed up the Cubs game, and asked him if he likes Howard's butt cheese. Finally, Dan Rather was pranked by Janks during the Space Shuttle disaster. Janks called in claiming to have debris from the crash. He then says that it may be one of Baba Booey's teeth.
Howard opened the envelope and said that Dan Patrick was the winner. He was on the line with Captain Janks. Howard wondered if it was really Dan Patrick. He said he couldn't prove it, he'd have to take Artie's word for it. Artie said that's really him. Dan wondered why Janks would do something like that to someone who likes the show. Janks said that he loves Sports Center and thought that they would be the best place to make that call to. Janks said it was tough to get through to that show but he had spoken to Steve Bartman and had a lot of information to get through to them.
Howard told Dan that Janks put a lot of time and effort into that call. Dan said that they have changed the screening system over there since that call. Howard wondered if anyone gets in trouble when something like that happens. Dan said that nothing like that happens. Dan told Janks that he did a good job when he made that prank call because he had him convinced that it was Steve Bartman.
Janks said that Sports Center is off limits to him from now on. Dan said he really wanted to crawl under the desk when that call happened. He said he had to do another 45 minutes worth of show after that and it was tough.
Howard told Dan that the F-Emmy is a guy banging a chick that's animated and they will send him one in the mail. Dan made a quick acceptance speech and told Howard that he's a fan of his. Captain Janks also made a quick speech and got in a plug for his web site CaptainJanks.tk. Howard went to break after that.
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John Travolta's Home Runway And More. 11/17/2003. 7:35am
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After the break Howard played a clip where they talked about some of the celebrity friends of the show that have died over the past year or so. They mentioned a lot of names including Barry White and many others. Hank the Dwarf was mentioned in that group too even though he's been dead for about 3 years now.
Howard said he was watching a TV commercial the other day for this thing called WebEx.com and he got sucked in so much he was testing it out on their demo page. He said the technology was pretty cool and he couldn't believe he got sucked into doing something from watching a commercial.
Howard said that he got this article from Cabbie (all mentions of Cabbie's name in Mastertape Theatre have been edited out) about John Travolta's Florida home and how he had a runway installed on his property so he can park his 707 jet near his home. Howard wasn't sure if it was a true story or not but Gary told him they found another story out of a Indianapolis newspaper that pretty much confirmed it.
Howard said he's never going to bad mouth Travolta again because anyone who can have a life like that is pretty amazing. Howard said he feels like a failure next to Travolta after reading the story. There's a picture in the article where they show the plane in his yard.
Howard and the guys talked about how Travolta could have made that much money in his career. Robin said he's always owned planes and has had a lavish lifestyle and no one knows how he managed to do that.
A listener called in to tell Howard about Travolta's home and how all of his neighbors have similar set ups down there. Howard wondered if he moved there just so he could do that. He said that he could live somewhere in L.A. ten minutes from the airport but he has to live at this place so he can park his plane in his yard. Howard wondered why it's so important to him to have the plane in his yard. He talked about how much it must cost him in fuel when he wants to fly. He said to fill up a smaller Gulfstream probably costs $30,000.
Howard said he went out to a stationary store and bought a $100 Mont Blanc pen over the weekend and he felt like he was being kind of extravagant. Another caller told Howard that there are quite a few communities down there that have fly-in fly-out homes. Howard said he wants to interview Travolta just about that subject. He said he wants to know how he makes that kind of money. Howard said he has to start making more movies so he can have that kind of money.
The following segment was edited out of Mastertape Theatre. Erasing history... Chaunce Hayden called in and said that there's a big story in the NY Post about how strip clubs might be shut down in New York. Howard said he read the story he was talking about and said that Chaunce wasn't getting it and he was wrong about them being closed down. Chaunce said that the clubs aren't going to be able to call the strippers independent contractors anymore so they're going to have to shut down. Howard said that doesn't mean anything and hung up on him a short time later. Howard also told Robin that Chaunce does not have cancer like he thought he might. He said he went to the doctor and found out there is no cancer where they thought there was.
Howard said there was an article in a Las Vegas newspaper where they talked about how a Spanish radio station was beating him. Howard said that his show doesn't compete against Spanish speaking audiences so it wasn't really a relevant article. He seemed to think that they just wanted to bash him any way they could so that's how they went about doing it.
Howard talked about how his station is holding their big yearly Clause Fest concert on December 5th and 6th. He said he's going to try and go at least one night. Robin said she's not sure she's going to be going either. Howard ended up back on the John Travolta thing for a few seconds before getting back to the F-Emmys.
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Best Staff Fight'' F-Emmy Award. 11/17/2003. 7:55am
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Howard got back to the F-Emmy awards and said they were going to give away the F-Emmy for ''Best Staff Fight.'' Howard joked around about the audience members he was seeing there at the awards show. He joked that Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Madonna were all sitting on each other while Madonna's daughter watched. He soon moved on to the nominees for ''Best Staff Fight.''
First up was Gary vs. Howard over a news article that Gary gave Howard. Next up was Howard vs. Robin over the outcome of the Nearlywed Game. The third nominee was Howard vs. Fred. Howard got pissed at Fred when he didn't tell him he had a tape he was waiting for. After playing that tape Howard said that was a typical Fred thing to do because he never volunteers information. He said Fred drives him crazy with that stuff. They brought up this time that Benjy was late and Fred never told him about that.
Artie eventually told Howard about it but that was only after Ronnie told him. Howard got back to the next nominee which was Howard vs. John over the fact that John took an extra week off to do ''I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here!'' Howard ended up getting upset about that whole thing again as well. He said John was only supposed to take 2 weeks off but ended up being out for 3 weeks.
Howard played the next nominees which were Robin vs. John over the Heineken trip to Amsterdam. Robin was nominated again after that. It was Robin vs. Gary over how Gary doesn't wait for his turn to talk to Howard during commercial breaks. The final nominee was Stuttering John vs. Chuck Roast (program director) after John was fired on the air.
Howard opened the envelope and found the winner was Stuttering John vs. Chuck Roast. Howard asked where Chuck Roast was because he doesn't usually get in that early. Howard asked John what the ''silver lining'' was that Chuck mentioned during that argument. John said he's still getting paid until the end of the year. John got in a couple of plugs for some comedy shows he's doing in the next couple of weeks. He thanked the owners of Zanies in Vernon Hills where he'll be appearing this weekend. (Check StutteringJohn.com for more show dates.)
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Wackiest Phone Caller'' F-Emmy Award With Chuck Norris. 11/17/2003. 8:15am
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Howard moved on to another category, this one was for ''Wackiest Phone Caller.'' The first nominee was Leyla who thought she was calling to find out what happened to her $5,000 that she sent for a sweepstakes entry. Next up was Crazy Nicole who claims that God told her to make Howard number one on her ''Icon List'' but freaks out on him when he tells her she needs help. The final nominee was Mariann from Brooklyn who called in to verify how much longer Howard has on his contract.
Howard opened the envelope and said that Nicole the nutty icon list chick was the winner. She wasn't on the line to accept the award but Chuck Norris was on the line to accept for her. Chuck joked that he knows her well. Chuck said that he was in New York recently but didn't manage to get in there when he was there. Chuck said he was only in town for a day or so. Chuck said fans always ask him when he's going to be on again. He said he's still married and he's celebrating his 5th anniversary this month. He's got twin two year olds as well.
Chuck told Howard that he's guest starring on the CBS sitcom ''Yes Dear.'' Howard didn't know much about the show and asked if there were any hot chicks on the show. Chuck said they were nice girls but he wouldn't call them ''hot.'' He told Howard about the part and what he does on the show. He described the show but Howard wondered where the funny parts were. Chuck promised him that it was funny stuff and he does do karate in it.
Howard asked Chuck if he's as rich as John Travolta and has his own plane in his driveway. Chuck said he rents a plane but doesn't own one. He said he's made some good money in his time but he doesn't have that much. Howard said if John Travolta is that rich, the Bee Gees must have an entire airport in their home. Howard read that Chuck also believes that ''the end'' is near for humanity so he asked him about that. Chuck said he doesn't think that's coming soon, but he's working for this Internet Service Provider (Max.com) that's trying to stop pedophiles from getting to people's kids. Howard spoke to him about that for a couple of minutes before wrapping up the call.
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More American Music Awards Discussion. 11/17/2003. 8:25am
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Howard moved on to talk about a news story he read about a teacher who got in trouble for sexually harassing some students about being gay. Howard read the article and goofed on that for a short time. He brought up Britney Spears again and talked about her odd outfit from the American Music Awards last night. He and Artie talked about whether or not they'd bang her. Both Artie and Howard said they'd do her and Artie said he thinks he could get her in a couple of years.
Howard said they usually do a song at the F-Emmys each year but this year the song was too complicated so they decided against it. He said Fred picked the hardest song to play for some reason.
Howard said he thinks that Kid Rock's version of ''Feel Like Makin Love'' is great on his album but when he performed it on the American Music Awards, it didn't sound so good. He played the CD version of the song and talked about how hot the drummer in his band is.
Howard then talked about this Hillary Duff chick and how disgusted he was with her birthday special on TV the other night. He and the guys talked about her for a couple of minutes. Howard played a clip of her performance from the American Music Awards and said that she was rocking harder than Kid Rock was... but the song was horrible.
Howard had some other clips from the awards show and wondered what Robin wanted to hear. They played some of Jimmy Kimmel's monolog. Howard said it was actually pretty good. Jimmy mentioned Jessica Simpson at one point so Howard talked about how hot she is. He said she is the hottest chick he's ever seen. Howard said he would slam her so hard with his salami. He said he'd like to take his salami and put it in her kosher deli. That led to Howard and Artie both talking about what they'd like to do to her. Howard said he'd even do the baby talk that she does with her husband. He also made a comment about banging her in the trunk of a car and then bury her in a shallow grave. Howard said he had to take another break right after that.
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New Beatles CD Discussed. 11/17/2003. 9:00am
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After the break Howard said they've released another Beatles album called ''Let It Be... Naked.'' He said that it's a rip off though because it sounds exactly like the old stuff even though it's supposed to be more raw than the original Let it Be album that Phil Spector got his hands on years ago. Howard played a few clips from the CD and they all sounded the same to him. He and Gary talked about some of the differences in the CD and how they're not all that different. Howard said you could tell him that it was the same as the old album and he wouldn't know the difference.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and said that the CD is a let down and what people really want is a DVD of Let it Be. Howard spoke to Vinnie for a minute and said that these conversations are boring to him. He said that Vinnie's house must be like one big iPod with all of the music he has over there. Vinnie claims that he had a bootleg of this album years ago. Howard and the guys ended up goofing on Vinnie again during this conversation. Howard wondered why he doesn't work out instead of listening to the music all the time. Vinnie seems to think he's in pretty good shape though. Howard spent a couple of minutes goofing on him before getting off the phone.
There's a bonus CD in the set that features the guys just talking to one another while they warm up. Howard said that it's probably just them yelling at each other. When he started to play it that's basically what it was. Then they broke into song and started singing ''Don't Let Me Down'' which was actually kind of cool to Howard. He said he might listen to it but only for 2 seconds. He said he was already bored after hearing that.
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A Horny Lesbian Plays ''Benjy Blows The Shophar.'' 11/17/2003. 9:15am
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KC came in and said that the Beatles music just doesn't hold up after all of these years. Howard told him to shut up about that and to bring the girl in who was willing to do anything for $2,500. This girl wants to go to Germany to visit her girlfriend and she told Howard that she needs the money to do that. She said she's willing to do anything for it. She said she had the money but her Aunt's boyfriend stole it from her. She said it took her about 6 months to save that money working overtime and it's all gone now. She said she doesn't even need $2,500, she just needs a ticket to go over there. She said she saw a ticket for $800 recently. Howard asked her if she's just going over there for a carpet munching fest. She said it's something like that. They talk on the phone all the time so her phone bills are like $1,000. Howard was getting into some detail about when she met this girl and how long ago it was. She said she met her like 8 months ago and she's been doing her for about 4 months. She told Howard that she's bi-sexual but he said if she's flying to Germany to meet her, she's no bi, she's lesbian.
The girl told Robin that she looks good now that she's lost her weight so they spent a minute on that. Robin told her that she used The Master Cleanser diet for that. Robin then came up with something that the girl could play to win the money she wanted. Robin whispered it to Howard and she suggested the Anal Ring Toss game. Howard still wasn't sure about that though. Howard said that he didn't have any money to give away doing something like that so he said he would play the ''Benjy Blows the Shophar'' game and let her play for $500.
Benjy blows this awful instrument to the tune of an AC/DC song and she has to try and guess which song it is. She wasn't a fan of the band but she was able to guess that it was ''Highway to Hell.'' Howard played the real song and Benjy blowing the Shophar along to the song to show how close it was. Howard said the money was courtesy of the AC/DC - Live at Donington DVD that's out now.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to the girl about what she's going to do when she goes to Germany. She said she's going to try and not do anything for 3 days for some reason. She said that she doesn't use a vibrator on the girl, she just gives her oral. Howard didn't find out what her made up name was until the end of the segment. She said that her name was Sally but Howard said there's no black chick named Sally. She ran out a short time later so Howard wrapped up the segment and took a break.
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Robin's News. 11/17/2003. 9:25am
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After the (edited out) break Howard was wondering where the Rod Stewart clip was that he wanted to hear. Gary came in with it a short time later so Howard asked him when he was going to bring it in. He blamed it on someone else so Howard said he always blames someone else.
Howard played the audio of Rod performing at the American Music Awards and wondered what the guy is up to. He said that performance was awful and he thinks that he can sing better than that guy. Howard then sang some song that he was making up as he went along. HE sang about Robin a bit and said that's much better than Rod Stewart's singing.
Robin got into her news after that and read a story about Christopher Reeve who had a new respirator installed in his diaphragm to help him breathe. She also talked about Gil Scott Harron who performed the song ''Whitey's On The Moon'' which they've played on the show pretty often.
Howard took some calls during the news but kept them pretty short. Robin talked about the movie Elf coming out and doing very well in the theaters that weekend. Scott DePace came in and said that he tried to go see it but it was sold out.
Robin read through a bunch of stories and brought up one story about comic books. That led to Howard talking about his collection that his mother ended up giving away without his permission. He said that she said that no one cared about this ''Supurb-man'' comics that he had. He said he had to correct her and tell her it was Superman. He did his impression of his mom and goofed on her for a short time.
After Robin read through a few more stories Howard wrapped up the show around 10:00am Mastertape Theatre time.
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Howard 100 News
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HOWARD STERN SHOW 2-8-08 MasterTape Theatre 11-17-03 64K MP3 CF
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Mastertape Theatre - November 17, 2003. 02/08/08. 6:00am
American Music Award Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:10am
Rich Kid Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:20am
Howard's Talks About His Weekend. 11/17/2003. 6:30am
Hot Chick's Talking About Howard. 11/17/2003. 6:55am
F-Emmy (FME) Award For Best Phony Phone Call To A TV Host. 11/17/2003. 7:10am
John Travolta's Home Runway And More. 11/17/2003. 7:35am
Best Staff Fight'' F-Emmy Award. 11/17/2003. 7:55am
Wackiest Phone Caller'' F-Emmy Award With Chuck Norris. 11/17/2003. 8:15am
More American Music Awards Discussion. 11/17/2003. 8:25am
New Beatles CD Discussed. 11/17/2003. 9:00am
A Horny Lesbian Plays ''Benjy Blows The Shophar.'' 11/17/2003. 9:15am
Robin's News. 11/17/2003. 9:25am
Howard 100 News
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Friday, February 8, 2008
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Mastertape Theatre - November 17, 2003. 02/08/08. 6:00am
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Today's Howard Stern Mastertape Theatre was a replay of the November 17, 2003 Howard Stern Show..
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Football Pool Update. 11/17/2003. 6:00am
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Show opening bits and songs included: ''Roman Polanski Day Care and Dating Service'' commercial parody, Fiona Apple performs ''Sleep to Dream'' live in the studio.
Howard started the morning talking about the Kansas City Chiefs saying that Artie told him that they're the best team in the NFL at this point. The guys talked about them for a short time and about some other teams.
Howard then moved on to the big $25,000 football pool and said that Daniel Carver has now moved into the lead. Howard gave a quick run down of how everyone is doing in the pool at this point. Artie lost so he's fallen behind Daniel Carver.
Artie said he's been betting on the games so he hasn't been doing so well for the past few weeks. He's been losing like crazy. Gary the Retard won while Sanders the Chicken lost this week. Artie said he thinks that the chicken will end up beating him this year as well. Howard said he knows that Artie spends all week picking these teams so it's a big deal to him. Artie said of course he puts some time into it. He got some suggestions from this guy Vinnie and he still ended up losing. Artie said that he wants to make that really big bet at the end of the season.
Here's how everyone stands at this point:
Gary the Retard 5 Wins, 4 Losses, 2 Push (or 4-6-1 according to Howard)
Sanders the Chicken - 4 Wins, 6 Losses 1 Push
Daniel Carver - 7 Wins, 4 Losses
Artie - 6 Wins, 5 Losses
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American Music Award Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:10am
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Howard went on to take some phone calls and talked about the American Music Awards after someone brought them up. The caller who brought them up was talking about how boring the show was and how bad Britney Spears and some of the other acts were. Howard said the show was really boring to him. He said that Britney was dressed up like a super hero for some reason and she didn't look good. She's been on every other show so Howard said that they seem to be afraid of letting her on his show. Howard and the caller also talked about how she's not in that great shape. She was lip syncing on the awards show and she must not have been able to hear what she was singing to.
The caller said that Kid Rock was pretty good and he was there with Pamela Anderson. They said that Tommy Lee is rumored to be with Pink now. Howard said her song was horrible as well. Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel was pretty funny as the host. He said he wasn't dressed very well though. He said that Jimmy was trying to dress cool but it wasn't working for him. He thinks that he should go with what his strengths are and not try to dress the way he was.
Howard took another call about the American Music Awards. The guy brought up how bad Rod Stewart was so they talked about that for a little while. Howard said he's turning into an elf now and he was hard to watch. Another caller brought up Britney Spears again so Howard was wondering why they don't let her come on his show. Artie told him that in a year or so she'll need to sell albums and she'll be begging to come on his show. Howard had to take a break before moving on to the F-Emmys and stuff like that.
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Rich Kid Discussions. 11/17/2003. 6:20am
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After the (edited out for Mastertape) break Howard said that Robin has seen the show ''Born Rich'' on HBO and she says that it's pretty good. She told Howard that they were driving around the city and pointing out the buildings that their family owns. Stuttering John came in and said that the show is great but the kids are miserable. They're upset that they're rich according to John and Robin. They talked about how these kids were complaining about their parents making them rich. Robin said that they think that they're cut off from the rest of the world because of their wealth.
John and Robin said that the kids are still young too. Artie said Stuttering John was watching that show as he was getting ready to go to work a gig at the Stress Factory.
Howard said his kids don't like it when he shows up in a limo to pick them up. He said he went to his Aunt Sally's birthday show and his nieces and nephews love the limo. Robin said that the kids on that show get pissed because the money is just given to them.
Howard said that when he was out on Long Island there were a lot of rich kids out there and they'd all goof on each other about the kinds of cars they would drive. Sometimes the cars would be too nice and kids would goof on the others about that. Artie said if he was one of those kids he'd open a landscaping company or something like that, just to get away from the rich kid thing. Howard said they could become a karate instructor but they apparently don't want to do anything like that.
Robin said that the kids want to be the best at whatever it is they're doing. She mentioned Paris Hilton at one point so Howard talked about how he thinks that she's might be kind of happy about everything that's going on surrounding her sex video. That led to Howard bringing up how they had this Playboy model Nicole Lenz on the show a couple of years ago and it's rumored that she's the one in one of the Paris Hilton videos. Howard played the clip they had where she talks about how she had oral performed on her one time with one girl. Howard says that it's possible that it's Paris Hilton she was talking about. Here's an excerpt from my write up that day: One caller told Howard to have the girls kiss before they left. Howard then asked the girls if they ever did any lesbian stuff. A couple of them had so there was renewed interest in talking to them. Nicole said she never did anything to anyone but a woman gave her oral one time. She said she was drunk and partying and she couldn't say no once the woman
started on her. She said it wasn't as good as a guy could do so she didn't orgasm.
After playing the clip Howard said they probably could have gotten more out of her but Gary sounded like a pitbull during the interview. He was talking about his pants getting tight and going nuts. Howard said that it could have been her talking about Paris Hilton that day but they're not sure about that.
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Howard's Talks About His Weekend. 11/17/2003. 6:30am
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Howard said he had a really nice weekend. He went out to Nobu on Friday night with some friends. He said he had a little bit of a celebrity run in while he was there. He said this guy Jerry Inzarella was there and he said hello to him. He said that Jerry seems to know a lot of celebrities. Howard said he was having dinner with Naomi Campbell and some other people. Jerry asked Howard to stop by the table before he left so he stopped by and said hi to Naomi and she gave him a quick hello and that was it.
Howard said Quincy Jones then stood up and said hello as well. Howard said he was more excited to meet him than Naomi. Quincy brought up the tapes that Howard has played of him at some award show where he was drunk and barely making any sense. Howard said Quincy wants a copy of the tape because he thinks he's the funniest thing he's ever done. Howard said the guy has a great sense of humor.
Artie said that he knows Quincy because he produced ''MAD TV'' when he was on it. He said that he was a really good guy and treated him really well when he was having his drug problems. Howard talked about him for a short time and then said that Naomi seemed to have a stick up her ass or something. Howard said he doesn't even recall looking at her when he was there so he's not sure how she looked in person. Howard said Quincy looked pretty good.
Artie said he got to fly on a private jet with Quincy one time but the guy didn't talk to him much. He said he tried to make small talk with one of his daughters instead. He wasn't sure which one it was though. He said she got on her phone and talked to one of her friends for about 4 hours of the 6 hour flight. He said he just ordered more and more food to stay busy. Howard said that's what he should do on a private jet flight like that.
Howard said he took his kids out to John George on Saturday night. He said he didn't go outside much when he was home this weekend. He said that he was on the computer the whole weekend instead. He said he was having fun taking pictures and printing them out.
Howard said he uses good quality photo paper to print out his pictures and they look just like real pictures. He said he has a Canon printer that he uses with the good paper and they come out great. Robin sounded pretty impressed but Howard said it's not all that hard to do.
The pictures he was taking were of his dog Bianca so they ended up talking about her for a little while. Robin wondered what ever happened to that bit they were going to do where Artie was going to race the dog. Howard said they just never did it but the dog would have beaten Artie's ass. Artie insists that he doesn't hate dogs but Howard thought that he did based on what he's said about them before.
Howard took some more phone calls and hung up on a couple of guys because their calls were kind of pointless. One guy said that Rush Limbaugh is supposed to be back on the air today. Howard said that he'll probably pick up right where he left off and not even talk about his rehab once he's back on air.
The same caller asked Howard when the uncensored E! show video is going to be out. Howard said he hoped to have had it out by Christmas but it's not ready yet. He said he doesn't think it matters, they'll put it out when it's ready. Howard and Artie continued to goof on Rush for a short time. Howard said he could make that whole thing great if it was him. He would have the woman who dealt him the drugs on to talk about all of that. Artie did his impression of Rush for a short time and goofed on the whole situation until Howard went to another commercial break.
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Hot Chick's Talking About Howard. 11/17/2003. 6:55am
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After the break Howard said he had some tape of something that was mentioned about him on a few shows. He played something from Good Day Live where the cast of ''Charmed'' was being interviewed. They ended up talking about being interviewed by Howard. Howard said he doesn't know what they were talking about but he likes the fact that hot chicks are talking about him.
Howard said that Alyssa Milano has never been on the show but Robin corrected him and said that she was on many years ago when she stopped by during an awards show they were at. Robin also brought up how Jillian Barberi from Good Day Live dyed her hair so she could be on Hollywood Squares during Blonde Week. Howard said she's like Paris Hilton in the way she loves to be on camera.
Howard said that he got a note from Angie Everhart who told him that she's going to be on Hollywood Squares soon. Howard came up with some ideas for special weeks they could do on that show if they were producing it. Howard moved on to play a few more clips from various news programs where his name was mentioned. He had a few quick mentions from various shows. One of them was from a very boring PBS show so Howard bailed out on that one and moved right into the F-Emmy Awards.
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F-Emmy (FME) Award For Best Phony Phone Call To A TV Host. 11/17/2003. 7:10am
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Howard started the F-Emmy Awards again and joked that Rush Limbaugh was in the audience after coming back from the janitor trying to get some drugs. He said Craig Kilborn had to show security his ID a few times since no one knows who he is. He said that Ashton Kutcher was there with his mom... Robin corrected him and said that it was Demi Moore, not his mother. Howard said that Siegfried from Siegfried and Roy was there. He said that he didn't want to say who he was with but there might be a new show called ''Siegfried and KC.''
Howard moved on to the first category today which was ''Best Phony Phone Call to a TV Host.'' He said that all of the calls were made by Captain Janks so they had to pick the winner from the victims. First up was Janks' call to an L.A. news team during the fires out in California. Janks called as ''Mark Mercer'' (Janks doing an odd tribute to me) during this call. The second nominee was the show Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain when Janks called in and asked him if he'd like Howard Stern's ball sack. The third nominee was a sports show where Janks called in and asked them if they like Howard Stern's balls and asked if they sucked dick in a second call and then said ''F-you'' in a third call. Next up was Dan Patrick who took a call from Janks who called in as Steve Bartman, the guy who screwed up the Cubs game, and asked him if he likes Howard's butt cheese. Finally, Dan Rather was pranked by Janks during the Space Shuttle disaster. Janks called in claiming to have debris from the crash. He then says that it may be one of Baba Booey's teeth.
Howard opened the envelope and said that Dan Patrick was the winner. He was on the line with Captain Janks. Howard wondered if it was really Dan Patrick. He said he couldn't prove it, he'd have to take Artie's word for it. Artie said that's really him. Dan wondered why Janks would do something like that to someone who likes the show. Janks said that he loves Sports Center and thought that they would be the best place to make that call to. Janks said it was tough to get through to that show but he had spoken to Steve Bartman and had a lot of information to get through to them.
Howard told Dan that Janks put a lot of time and effort into that call. Dan said that they have changed the screening system over there since that call. Howard wondered if anyone gets in trouble when something like that happens. Dan said that nothing like that happens. Dan told Janks that he did a good job when he made that prank call because he had him convinced that it was Steve Bartman.
Janks said that Sports Center is off limits to him from now on. Dan said he really wanted to crawl under the desk when that call happened. He said he had to do another 45 minutes worth of show after that and it was tough.
Howard told Dan that the F-Emmy is a guy banging a chick that's animated and they will send him one in the mail. Dan made a quick acceptance speech and told Howard that he's a fan of his. Captain Janks also made a quick speech and got in a plug for his web site CaptainJanks.tk. Howard went to break after that.
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John Travolta's Home Runway And More. 11/17/2003. 7:35am
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After the break Howard played a clip where they talked about some of the celebrity friends of the show that have died over the past year or so. They mentioned a lot of names including Barry White and many others. Hank the Dwarf was mentioned in that group too even though he's been dead for about 3 years now.
Howard said he was watching a TV commercial the other day for this thing called WebEx.com and he got sucked in so much he was testing it out on their demo page. He said the technology was pretty cool and he couldn't believe he got sucked into doing something from watching a commercial.
Howard said that he got this article from Cabbie (all mentions of Cabbie's name in Mastertape Theatre have been edited out) about John Travolta's Florida home and how he had a runway installed on his property so he can park his 707 jet near his home. Howard wasn't sure if it was a true story or not but Gary told him they found another story out of a Indianapolis newspaper that pretty much confirmed it.
Howard said he's never going to bad mouth Travolta again because anyone who can have a life like that is pretty amazing. Howard said he feels like a failure next to Travolta after reading the story. There's a picture in the article where they show the plane in his yard.
Howard and the guys talked about how Travolta could have made that much money in his career. Robin said he's always owned planes and has had a lavish lifestyle and no one knows how he managed to do that.
A listener called in to tell Howard about Travolta's home and how all of his neighbors have similar set ups down there. Howard wondered if he moved there just so he could do that. He said that he could live somewhere in L.A. ten minutes from the airport but he has to live at this place so he can park his plane in his yard. Howard wondered why it's so important to him to have the plane in his yard. He talked about how much it must cost him in fuel when he wants to fly. He said to fill up a smaller Gulfstream probably costs $30,000.
Howard said he went out to a stationary store and bought a $100 Mont Blanc pen over the weekend and he felt like he was being kind of extravagant. Another caller told Howard that there are quite a few communities down there that have fly-in fly-out homes. Howard said he wants to interview Travolta just about that subject. He said he wants to know how he makes that kind of money. Howard said he has to start making more movies so he can have that kind of money.
The following segment was edited out of Mastertape Theatre. Erasing history... Chaunce Hayden called in and said that there's a big story in the NY Post about how strip clubs might be shut down in New York. Howard said he read the story he was talking about and said that Chaunce wasn't getting it and he was wrong about them being closed down. Chaunce said that the clubs aren't going to be able to call the strippers independent contractors anymore so they're going to have to shut down. Howard said that doesn't mean anything and hung up on him a short time later. Howard also told Robin that Chaunce does not have cancer like he thought he might. He said he went to the doctor and found out there is no cancer where they thought there was.
Howard said there was an article in a Las Vegas newspaper where they talked about how a Spanish radio station was beating him. Howard said that his show doesn't compete against Spanish speaking audiences so it wasn't really a relevant article. He seemed to think that they just wanted to bash him any way they could so that's how they went about doing it.
Howard talked about how his station is holding their big yearly Clause Fest concert on December 5th and 6th. He said he's going to try and go at least one night. Robin said she's not sure she's going to be going either. Howard ended up back on the John Travolta thing for a few seconds before getting back to the F-Emmys.
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Best Staff Fight'' F-Emmy Award. 11/17/2003. 7:55am
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Howard got back to the F-Emmy awards and said they were going to give away the F-Emmy for ''Best Staff Fight.'' Howard joked around about the audience members he was seeing there at the awards show. He joked that Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Madonna were all sitting on each other while Madonna's daughter watched. He soon moved on to the nominees for ''Best Staff Fight.''
First up was Gary vs. Howard over a news article that Gary gave Howard. Next up was Howard vs. Robin over the outcome of the Nearlywed Game. The third nominee was Howard vs. Fred. Howard got pissed at Fred when he didn't tell him he had a tape he was waiting for. After playing that tape Howard said that was a typical Fred thing to do because he never volunteers information. He said Fred drives him crazy with that stuff. They brought up this time that Benjy was late and Fred never told him about that.
Artie eventually told Howard about it but that was only after Ronnie told him. Howard got back to the next nominee which was Howard vs. John over the fact that John took an extra week off to do ''I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here!'' Howard ended up getting upset about that whole thing again as well. He said John was only supposed to take 2 weeks off but ended up being out for 3 weeks.
Howard played the next nominees which were Robin vs. John over the Heineken trip to Amsterdam. Robin was nominated again after that. It was Robin vs. Gary over how Gary doesn't wait for his turn to talk to Howard during commercial breaks. The final nominee was Stuttering John vs. Chuck Roast (program director) after John was fired on the air.
Howard opened the envelope and found the winner was Stuttering John vs. Chuck Roast. Howard asked where Chuck Roast was because he doesn't usually get in that early. Howard asked John what the ''silver lining'' was that Chuck mentioned during that argument. John said he's still getting paid until the end of the year. John got in a couple of plugs for some comedy shows he's doing in the next couple of weeks. He thanked the owners of Zanies in Vernon Hills where he'll be appearing this weekend. (Check StutteringJohn.com for more show dates.)
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Wackiest Phone Caller'' F-Emmy Award With Chuck Norris. 11/17/2003. 8:15am
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Howard moved on to another category, this one was for ''Wackiest Phone Caller.'' The first nominee was Leyla who thought she was calling to find out what happened to her $5,000 that she sent for a sweepstakes entry. Next up was Crazy Nicole who claims that God told her to make Howard number one on her ''Icon List'' but freaks out on him when he tells her she needs help. The final nominee was Mariann from Brooklyn who called in to verify how much longer Howard has on his contract.
Howard opened the envelope and said that Nicole the nutty icon list chick was the winner. She wasn't on the line to accept the award but Chuck Norris was on the line to accept for her. Chuck joked that he knows her well. Chuck said that he was in New York recently but didn't manage to get in there when he was there. Chuck said he was only in town for a day or so. Chuck said fans always ask him when he's going to be on again. He said he's still married and he's celebrating his 5th anniversary this month. He's got twin two year olds as well.
Chuck told Howard that he's guest starring on the CBS sitcom ''Yes Dear.'' Howard didn't know much about the show and asked if there were any hot chicks on the show. Chuck said they were nice girls but he wouldn't call them ''hot.'' He told Howard about the part and what he does on the show. He described the show but Howard wondered where the funny parts were. Chuck promised him that it was funny stuff and he does do karate in it.
Howard asked Chuck if he's as rich as John Travolta and has his own plane in his driveway. Chuck said he rents a plane but doesn't own one. He said he's made some good money in his time but he doesn't have that much. Howard said if John Travolta is that rich, the Bee Gees must have an entire airport in their home. Howard read that Chuck also believes that ''the end'' is near for humanity so he asked him about that. Chuck said he doesn't think that's coming soon, but he's working for this Internet Service Provider (Max.com) that's trying to stop pedophiles from getting to people's kids. Howard spoke to him about that for a couple of minutes before wrapping up the call.
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More American Music Awards Discussion. 11/17/2003. 8:25am
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Howard moved on to talk about a news story he read about a teacher who got in trouble for sexually harassing some students about being gay. Howard read the article and goofed on that for a short time. He brought up Britney Spears again and talked about her odd outfit from the American Music Awards last night. He and Artie talked about whether or not they'd bang her. Both Artie and Howard said they'd do her and Artie said he thinks he could get her in a couple of years.
Howard said they usually do a song at the F-Emmys each year but this year the song was too complicated so they decided against it. He said Fred picked the hardest song to play for some reason.
Howard said he thinks that Kid Rock's version of ''Feel Like Makin Love'' is great on his album but when he performed it on the American Music Awards, it didn't sound so good. He played the CD version of the song and talked about how hot the drummer in his band is.
Howard then talked about this Hillary Duff chick and how disgusted he was with her birthday special on TV the other night. He and the guys talked about her for a couple of minutes. Howard played a clip of her performance from the American Music Awards and said that she was rocking harder than Kid Rock was... but the song was horrible.
Howard had some other clips from the awards show and wondered what Robin wanted to hear. They played some of Jimmy Kimmel's monolog. Howard said it was actually pretty good. Jimmy mentioned Jessica Simpson at one point so Howard talked about how hot she is. He said she is the hottest chick he's ever seen. Howard said he would slam her so hard with his salami. He said he'd like to take his salami and put it in her kosher deli. That led to Howard and Artie both talking about what they'd like to do to her. Howard said he'd even do the baby talk that she does with her husband. He also made a comment about banging her in the trunk of a car and then bury her in a shallow grave. Howard said he had to take another break right after that.
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New Beatles CD Discussed. 11/17/2003. 9:00am
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After the break Howard said they've released another Beatles album called ''Let It Be... Naked.'' He said that it's a rip off though because it sounds exactly like the old stuff even though it's supposed to be more raw than the original Let it Be album that Phil Spector got his hands on years ago. Howard played a few clips from the CD and they all sounded the same to him. He and Gary talked about some of the differences in the CD and how they're not all that different. Howard said you could tell him that it was the same as the old album and he wouldn't know the difference.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and said that the CD is a let down and what people really want is a DVD of Let it Be. Howard spoke to Vinnie for a minute and said that these conversations are boring to him. He said that Vinnie's house must be like one big iPod with all of the music he has over there. Vinnie claims that he had a bootleg of this album years ago. Howard and the guys ended up goofing on Vinnie again during this conversation. Howard wondered why he doesn't work out instead of listening to the music all the time. Vinnie seems to think he's in pretty good shape though. Howard spent a couple of minutes goofing on him before getting off the phone.
There's a bonus CD in the set that features the guys just talking to one another while they warm up. Howard said that it's probably just them yelling at each other. When he started to play it that's basically what it was. Then they broke into song and started singing ''Don't Let Me Down'' which was actually kind of cool to Howard. He said he might listen to it but only for 2 seconds. He said he was already bored after hearing that.
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A Horny Lesbian Plays ''Benjy Blows The Shophar.'' 11/17/2003. 9:15am
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KC came in and said that the Beatles music just doesn't hold up after all of these years. Howard told him to shut up about that and to bring the girl in who was willing to do anything for $2,500. This girl wants to go to Germany to visit her girlfriend and she told Howard that she needs the money to do that. She said she's willing to do anything for it. She said she had the money but her Aunt's boyfriend stole it from her. She said it took her about 6 months to save that money working overtime and it's all gone now. She said she doesn't even need $2,500, she just needs a ticket to go over there. She said she saw a ticket for $800 recently. Howard asked her if she's just going over there for a carpet munching fest. She said it's something like that. They talk on the phone all the time so her phone bills are like $1,000. Howard was getting into some detail about when she met this girl and how long ago it was. She said she met her like 8 months ago and she's been doing her for about 4 months. She told Howard that she's bi-sexual but he said if she's flying to Germany to meet her, she's no bi, she's lesbian.
The girl told Robin that she looks good now that she's lost her weight so they spent a minute on that. Robin told her that she used The Master Cleanser diet for that. Robin then came up with something that the girl could play to win the money she wanted. Robin whispered it to Howard and she suggested the Anal Ring Toss game. Howard still wasn't sure about that though. Howard said that he didn't have any money to give away doing something like that so he said he would play the ''Benjy Blows the Shophar'' game and let her play for $500.
Benjy blows this awful instrument to the tune of an AC/DC song and she has to try and guess which song it is. She wasn't a fan of the band but she was able to guess that it was ''Highway to Hell.'' Howard played the real song and Benjy blowing the Shophar along to the song to show how close it was. Howard said the money was courtesy of the AC/DC - Live at Donington DVD that's out now.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to the girl about what she's going to do when she goes to Germany. She said she's going to try and not do anything for 3 days for some reason. She said that she doesn't use a vibrator on the girl, she just gives her oral. Howard didn't find out what her made up name was until the end of the segment. She said that her name was Sally but Howard said there's no black chick named Sally. She ran out a short time later so Howard wrapped up the segment and took a break.
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Robin's News. 11/17/2003. 9:25am
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After the (edited out) break Howard was wondering where the Rod Stewart clip was that he wanted to hear. Gary came in with it a short time later so Howard asked him when he was going to bring it in. He blamed it on someone else so Howard said he always blames someone else.
Howard played the audio of Rod performing at the American Music Awards and wondered what the guy is up to. He said that performance was awful and he thinks that he can sing better than that guy. Howard then sang some song that he was making up as he went along. HE sang about Robin a bit and said that's much better than Rod Stewart's singing.
Robin got into her news after that and read a story about Christopher Reeve who had a new respirator installed in his diaphragm to help him breathe. She also talked about Gil Scott Harron who performed the song ''Whitey's On The Moon'' which they've played on the show pretty often.
Howard took some calls during the news but kept them pretty short. Robin talked about the movie Elf coming out and doing very well in the theaters that weekend. Scott DePace came in and said that he tried to go see it but it was sold out.
Robin read through a bunch of stories and brought up one story about comic books. That led to Howard talking about his collection that his mother ended up giving away without his permission. He said that she said that no one cared about this ''Supurb-man'' comics that he had. He said he had to correct her and tell her it was Superman. He did his impression of his mom and goofed on her for a short time.
After Robin read through a few more stories Howard wrapped up the show around 10:00am Mastertape Theatre time.
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Howard 100 News
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