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HOWARD STERN SHOW 2-22-08 MasterTape Theatre 10-25-88 64K MP3 CF
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Get all your Howard Stern Show Downloads here first (RADIO)
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Get all your Howard Stern Show Downloads here first (Howard Stern TV)
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Mastertape Theatre - October 25, 1988. 02/22/08. 6:00am
Times are f'd up because show was played out of order. ***
Howard Lectured About Breaks. 10/25/1988. 9:10am
Coming Up Today. 10/25/1988. 9:20am
Howard Left Off The List Of Elton John Concert Celebrity Attendees. 10/25/1988. 9:30am
Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 10/25/1988. 9:40am
Dopey Phone Caller. 10/25/1988. 6:00am
Robin's News. 10/25/1988. 6:15am
Howard Plays ''Confused'' Radio Movie. 10/25/1988. 7:00am
Various Discussions. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
Howard Resurrects Mamalookaboobooday. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
A Very Long Weight Loss Commercial. 10/25/1988. 7:25am
Howard Threatens To Reveal Info On Bon Jovi. 10/25/1988. 7:45am
Howard Calls Leslie West. 10/25/1988. 8:10am
Howard Calls A Steroid Hotline. 10/25/1988. 8:30am
Howard Tries To Make Up With Meg Griffin. 10/25/1988. 8:35am
Howard 100 News
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Friday, February 22, 2008
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Mastertape Theatre - October 25, 1988. 02/22/08. 6:00am
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Today's Mastertape Theatre replay was from October 25, 1988. They started today's replay at the wrong point, it was sometime in the middle of the show instead of the beginning. Nice. That really made it easy to type up today's show, all out of order.
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Howard Lectured About Breaks. 10/25/1988. 9:10am
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This was actually the start of the show, but since they started the replay at the wrong point earlier, the times are all frigged up. That's right, I said frigged up. How do they screw up the start of the show like that? Whatever. Here's the beginning of the show: Show opening bits and songs included: A clip of a sportscaster talking about how blacks try harder at sports than whites do, a clip of someone interviewing some woman about her accent, a cover of Led Zeppelin's ''Whole Lotta Love,'' a clip of Howard talking to a woman about censorship, a David Letterman intro.
Howard started off the show talking about how they had to get to all of the commercials on time today. He said he got a lecture from Tom Chiusano yesterday about that. Fred said he did too. Howard wasn't sure why he got the lectures all the time. He said that it's Robin's fault sometimes too. He said he called Tom to talk about something else and ended up getting this lecture.
Howard said that Robin is partly to blame because she'll tell him to wait before he goes to break when she reads her news. Howard said he got lectured for about 15 minutes yesterday. He said he really has to watch Fred and his signals that he has to break. Fred said that he'd do what he could but he couldn't just go right to commercial when Howard says break.
Howard asked what the smell was in the studio this morning. Fred blamed Gary but Gary said it wasn't him. Howard said that it smelled like garlic. Gary said he had some spaghetti last night but it wasn't garlic sauce. Howard checked the garbage but he didn't smell anything there. He said that it might be the microphone or something.
Gary said it really wasn't him so Howard said that he was awfully defensive about that. Howard said that maybe it's the seat that Maria was sitting in. He sniffed it and said that must be it.
Howard said he had a bunch of stuff to get to this morning. He ran down a few things and said he had to go to break. Robin said ''Wait a minute!'' but she was just joking about that.
After an edited out break Howard said that he took full responsibility for the breaks not being on time. He said that Tom was the one who was blaming everyone else.
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Coming Up Today. 10/25/1988. 9:20am
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Howard asked Gary to give them a rundown of what they were going to play today. Gary ran down some of the stuff they had to play today. He brought up the Elton John tapes and that led to Howard talking about John Bon Jovi and how they haven't been coming on the show. He said that he has a secret that he wants to reveal about them. He said that they used to be on the show all the time and lately they haven't been giving them a fair shake.
Gary said that he's been trying to get David on the show to do a dial-a-date but he hasn't been able to get in touch with him. He said that he did leave some messages for him but he only got one call back and missed that.
Howard said he's going to reveal this Bon Jovi thing later this week if he doesn't come on the show tomorrow. He said he will reveal it even though he knows that it's wrong morally. He said he has to resort to radio blackmail these days to get guests on the show. He said he feels really burned by Bon Jovi because they treated him like a superstar before they hit big. He said they had them on a couple of times but now there appears to be no payback from them.
Gary said that there's an article in the New York Times that basically says that the Bon Jovi album is bringing an end to pop music. They've sold 3 million copies of it already. Howard said that he heard that the new album isn't all that great. He said his niece was telling him that she doesn't like many of the songs on the album.
Howard said that rock bands seem to think that if they appear on his show, other stations won't want them on. He said that there is a real hate for his show in the radio industry. He said that they're so in awe of him that they'll do anything to keep people off his show.
Howard said that they can sell a lot of records on his show. He said that they could probably sell a lot more records through his show than they could on that dopey Z-100. He said he's not sure what he can do about that though.
Howard said that Bon Jovi should be thinking that he treated him well in the beginning and he should want to pay him back for that. Howard goofed on Scott Muni a little bit about the way he does interviews with guys like that. Howard spent a few minutes talking about Scott Muni and how weird he is with some of the shows he does. He did an impression of him talking about The Beatles like he always seems to do on his show.
Gary said they had some hate mail to read through today. He's also got some news stories for Howard to go through. They also want to call some lesbians today who want to do dial-a-date. He said they wanted to talk about the Elton John show list and about a guy who is selling John Lennon t-shirts.
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Howard Left Off The List Of Elton John Concert Celebrity Attendees. 10/25/1988. 9:30am
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Howard read an article about the Elton John concert where they listed the people who were there. He was left off the list. He read the article and they had Richie Sambora's name listed as ''Sambori.'' Howard talked some of the people he was hanging out with at the concert. One of them was the woman who owns Caroline's comedy club. He talked about her and how much she likes him because he helps sell out the club when comedians plug their shows on his show. He said that selling seats means soggy underwear for her.
Howard read through the rest of the list of people who were at the Elton John concert. They listed the people who were there on Saturday night, the night he was there, and left him off. He said that they mentioned Keith Hernandez, Shari Montgomery, Billy Joel and some others. Howard said that you'd think that people would want to know that he was there before they'd list Shari Montgomery. He said that they didn't even list Richard Lewis in that article.
Howard read through a live commercial for some product that took 4 D batteries. He complained about the way it was written because it sounded like it took ''40 batteries.'' He asked Gary to have the copy department change that so he can read it the right way. Howard said he thought they were talking about robin's vibrator with 4 D batteries. Robin said she doesn't need that much power, her's takes just C batteries.
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Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 10/25/1988. 9:40am
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After the commercials Howard went to the phones and took some calls. He took a call from Philly but no one was there. He went to a New York caller next. He didn't get to ask anything because Howard got sidetracked talking about something else. He was talking about how he wanted to talk to someone about this guy Mark Tinker from NBC who he thinks hates him.
Howard also talked about how his father used to give him a hard time about going to college for communications. He said that his father was right, he didn't need college for that. He has a deep voice and he can talk so that's about all he needed. He said that he did graduate Magna Cum Laude but it was for watching movies. Howard talked about some of the stuff that they would go over in college classes about how to program networks and stuff like that.
The caller on the line said that he can relate to his problems with his family trying to tell him how to eat. He said that he's got the same issues. Howard took some other calls and spent a few minutes talking to those fans and then went to break.
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Dopey Phone Caller. 10/25/1988. 6:00am
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Howard came back from a break and took a phone call from a guy who asked about the Greaseman down in Washington DC. Howard talked about how bad that guy is and how he replaced him down there in DC. Howard said that it might be time to bring back Mamalookaboobooday today.
The caller also asked if Robin has anything to say about Robin Givens since they both have the same name. Howard wondered if this guy was a communication's major or something. He wasn't really able to get his point across.
Howard went into an impression of the guy on the phone and asked him where he was from. He was from Maryland. Howard asked him if he was in retard classes in school. He said he wasn't. Howard asked him a few more questions about where he went to school and things like that. They ended up making fun of him after hearing where he went to school.
The caller said that he graduated with a math major so Howard asked him what he does. The guy said he's a forklift operator now. Robin said that education came in handy then. Howard said that his questions were a little dopey, that's why he was saying what he was saying.
Howard asked Robin to get back to her news and said he'd bring back Mamalookaboobooday during that. He let the caller go a short time later.
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Robin's News. 10/25/1988. 6:15am
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Howard had Robin read through some news stories. She read one about a building collapse in the city that happened when another building was being worked on. She had another story about some kids who killed some people. She spent a few minutes on that one. She had a story about Hedda Nusbaum and how she's going to walk free while her abusive husband is going to take the rap for what happened to their kids. Howard and Robin talked about that for a little while. Howard said he thinks that she should be in jail along with her husband.
Howard wanted to take a break but Robin wanted to read more about the Nusbaum thing. Howard let her do it but said she really has to let him run the show. She read one more story about Spin magazine putting condoms in their magazine. Howard ended up doing an impression of Bob Guccione Jr. and his father since Jr. the owner of that magazine.
Howard had a phone number for Bob Guccione Jr. so he tried calling him after Robin read the story. He said he was just trying to impress the audience by showing them that he has his number. Howard let the phone ring for a few minutes but no one was picking up. He gave up on the call and started doing more of his Bob Guccione impression when his microphone started to cut out. He wondered what kind of radio station he was working at where his microphone cuts him off.
Howard said that they had a K-Rock voter registration there at the station not too long ago and he signed up but he hasn't gotten anything confirming that he's registered. He said that guy Guido didn't let him know what happened. Gary said he'll have them check on that today.
Howard brought up Stuttering John and talked about how he's able to lose the stutter when he plays a character. Gary said that he'll leave messages on his machine in a British accent and he doesn't stutter. Howard said that Fred can be kind of long winded but when he's in character, he keeps things short. He's like a totally different person when he's doing characters.
Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about President Bush and about Michael Dukakis. Howard said he's not sure who he'd vote for if he knew he was registered to vote. He said he doesn't want to stand in a booth and try to figure out what local guys to vote for either.
Howard said that if he votes for a Democrat in the Presidential election, he'll usually vote republican in the local elections so they kind of cancel each other out.
Robin got back to her news and read through a bunch of various stories. She had one about Pat Sajak getting his own talk show. She said that he had dinner with Jack Parr so he could get some ideas for what to do on his own show. That led to Howard talking about what a no-talent Jack Parr was. That's why he lost his show and sits around showing old tapes of those old shows. Howard and Robin went through some more news and talked about the stuff she was reading. She wrapped up a short time later.
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Howard Plays ''Confused'' Radio Movie. 10/25/1988. 7:00am
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After the break Robin asked Howard if they should have a Halloween party. Howard didn't sound too interested in that. He wondered when Halloween was. Robin told him it was next Monday. He said he might do it then. They can have some fans come in dressed in costumes. He said he could dress in a tux and have the girls come in naked.
Howard said he was going to replay the radio movie they made about Dominic Barbara. He said this was based on the movie ''The Accused'' and they were calling it ''Confused.'' He played that and said they'll have another new one in a few days called ''I Love Uterine Cancer'' based on ''I Love Lucy.'' After Howard played the movie he went to break.
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Various Discussions. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
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After the edited out break Howard came back and talked about how he had been pleasuring himself last week to make sure he could fall asleep at night. He said that he knows that Fred does it but he won't admit it to him. Fred said he was doing it right then and he does it very often. Howard told Fred that he was just kidding and he really doesn't do that because he's married. He said he was just kidding about that too and said he really does do it.
Howard said that he's got a daughter who is 5 years old now and he should stop talking like that or she's going to know what he does for a living.
Howard said that his parents are like the complete opposite of him and they don't mind driving around in other countries and stuff. He said that they were over in Spain when they had some car trouble. He said that they had a guy who helped them out and the guy took the car for about 30 minutes and came back with the car fixed and didn't charge them anything. Howard said his father was telling him that the Spanish over there aren't like the Spanish here in this country.
Howard asked Robin if her parents travel to exotic places... like her apartment. She said that they haven't even been there.
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Howard Resurrects Mamalookaboobooday. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
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Howard moved on to do his Mamalookaboobooday character after that. He went to the traffic copter and spoke to his character. He said that it had been a long time since they spoke to him because they had gotten kind of burned out on him.
Mama and Robin talked about the traffic a little bit and then talked about some stuff that was in the news. Robin asked Mama about Oprah Winfrey and what he thinks of her. He said that he's actually writing a letter to Oprah and read some of that to Robin. He also said that he went to the college that the caller said he went to earlier in the show.
Mama's letter to Oprah talked about how he wants to get into her pants after she lost 90 pounds. He said that there's room in there for him now. He also said that he wants to have a baby girl with her and wants the baby to look just like Oprah. Then Robin asked him about his girlfriend, Loberta, who was in the chopper with him. Loberta (another Howard impression) went off on Mama for writing that letter to Oprah.
Mama got back to the letter to Oprah and talked about how nice it would be to lay in bed with her and how proud he'd be to be the father of her baby. He also described what the child would look like as a mix of Oprah and Mamalookaboobooday.
Mama said that he had a baby with his other girlfriend, Loberta, and he wants Oprah to know that. He continued to read the letter to Oprah and then Loberta went off on him for not ever proposing marriage to her. Robin told Mama that Oprah has a boyfriend. Mama said that she's been with him for a long time but he thinks that he could take his place. He also talked about how he pleasures himself every night, just like that Howard Stern.
Mama and Loberta went at each other a little bit. Then Mama said that's why Robin hasn't heard from him for a while now, because that Loberta hurts his voice.
Mama said he had to get going a short time later. Howard said goodbye to him and let him go. Howard went to a break after that.
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A Very Long Weight Loss Commercial. 10/25/1988. 7:25am
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He had a live commercial read that he was doing for a weight loss program. The sponsor had some people come in with one of the people who lost weight on the program. The guy said he lost 40 pounds in 8 weeks. Howard ended up going off on Gary for not helping out the guests the right way. He had to tell Gary to take her coat and purse. He told one woman to load him up like a mule.
Howard talked to the guy who lost the 40 pounds about the weight loss program. The guy talked about that a little bit but Howard asked him to talk softly because Robin was on the ''you know what'' today. Robin said he didn't have to go there.
Howard talked to this guy and his girlfriend for a couple of minutes. He asked the girlfriend about the weight loss thing and she said she lost 10 pounds herself. Howard asked her if she feels more sexy now that he's lost his weight. The guy said that he's too tired to do it but she's asking him to give it to her all the time.
Howard told the guy that he looks great and hopes he can keep the weight off. The guy said that he's on maintenance now and he thinks he'll be able to keep the weight off. Howard said he didn't appear to be any type of genius or anything either. The guy said that he works for a food distributor as a sales rep. Howard asked them if they have plans to get married. The guy asked Howard not to get him in trouble by going there.
Howard asked the woman about her boyfriend's penis size and she seemed to be saying that it looks bigger now but it's not all that big. He wrapped up with Rich and Karen a short time later.
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Howard Threatens To Reveal Info On Bon Jovi. 10/25/1988. 7:45am
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Howard came back from break and said he was going to impress the Washington DC listeners with a tape of Elton John. He said that they asked him to come on the show but his people apparently turned them down. He said they wanted David Crosby on the show but his people told them ''no'' over and over again. Then someone called David and asked him if he knew they were looking for him and he had no idea. Gary said that it's the book people who didn't want to book him on the show. He said that David's personal people like the show.
Howard said that he heard that Elton John's people were upset about something they thought he said but he claims he never said it. He said that they explained it to his people but they still didn't book him for the show. Gary said that they claim that they've booked him for the show in May. Howard said he knows something about Elton John that very few people know about him. He said that it could effect the people he loves.
Howard said that he's got some stuff on John Bon Jovi and if he doesn't come on the show by Thursday, he's going to reveal that too. He said that he has to tell John what it is he has on him. He told Gary to call Doc McGee so he can tell him what he has on John that he wants to reveal. He said that even Doc may not know this bit of information.
Howard said that John will be there tomorrow or Thursday because of this information he has. He said he can almost guarantee he'll be on. Gary came back in and said he tried calling Doc but the number was busy. Howard tried calling the number himself after that. He got an answering service that told him to wait on the line. Howard said that he's going to have to keep this information quiet so he may have to have Fred and Jackie leave the studio when he tells Doc what he has.
Howard got through to the secretary at Doc McGee's answering service. He was going to give her the message so he can give him a call back. Howard told her to ask Doc if he's aware that he has some information on a certain John Bon Jovi and he's going to reveal that information on Thursday if he doesn't show up by then.
Howard said he was falling in love with the woman on the phone because she was so polite and nice to him. He said that he was hearing her talking and thought that he had a feeling of love all of a sudden. He got back to the message and told her that he's going to reveal this information at 8:30 on Thursday morning. Robin asked him if he really wanted to do it that late, he might want to do it at 7:20. Howard said that the local Z-100 station used to give away money at that time because some dope told them that 7:20 is the time when most people are listening.
Howard finished off the message and asked if he had been a bad person to those guys. He had the woman read back the message so he knew that she had it right. The woman said that if she didn't get off the phone she was going to get fired. Howard asked her to stay on a little longer and make sure she had the message right.
Howard asked her some questions about Ireland since that's where she was from. She said that she moved over to the States many years ago. She spent a couple more minutes with him and kept trying to get off the line. Howard kept her talking though. She eventually got off the line. Howard said he always wanted to marry a receptionist.
Howard said he swears that he has information on Bon Jovi and he really is going to reveal it on Thursday. He said he had to take a break after that.
After an edited out break Howard said that he was driving everyone crazy with the Bon Jovi information. He said he has to blackmail people to get them in there though. He said that someone mailed him a letter years ago, about this thing and he thinks that it sounds like it could be true. He could make one phone call to verify it. He said he never had any interest in doing that before though.
Howard was in the middle of a live commercial so he went through that quickly. Fred dropped some carts during the commercial so Howard couldn't get through it without goofing on him. That led to Howard asking Fred for some sound effects and goofing on WYSP about the way they used to have wind chimes playing in the background. Now they have carts falling over as the sounds in the background. He juggled some carts around to make it sound like that was the new background noise for the station. Howard said that those carts are a pain in the ass.
Howard said that he wanted to get to the Elton John song but he kept messing around with the cart falling sound effects. Robin suggested that they hold a contest where people call in to win money when they hear the carts fall. Howard said that's a good idea and he demonstrated what that might sound like. He knocked over a pile of carts so people would know what to listen for.
Stuttering John came in and said that John Bon Jovi is leaving the country today and he wasn't going to be able to make it in there. Howard said that he's had it with them and he's still going to reveal the information he knows.
Gary came in and wanted to give them some prize information but Howard ended up yelling at him for kicking John out of his seat. Gary said he was just trying to give him some information and John got up himself.
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Howard Calls Leslie West. 10/25/1988. 8:10am
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Howard played the Elton John song that he performed live on one of his shows. Elton sang ''Why Isn't Howard Stern On TV.'' Howard said that Stuttering John asked him if that was Fred singing the song. He said that it was really Elton John, not Fred doing an impression.
Howard called Leslie West to verify that it wasn't him who gave the information about John Bon Jovi. Leslie picked up and said that he doesn't even know John Bon Jovi. Howard said that he was just kidding when he said that it was Leslie, and it was Robin who brought it up in the first place.
Howard talked to Leslie West about some other stuff after that. Leslie wanted to know what this information was but Howard said he can't reveal it until Thursday. Howard said that Leslie is always bringing up all kinds of stuff with him when they talk on the phone. He said that he tries to get things going with him that he doesn't need to.
Howard said that Leslie is like his sister, he calls up and said he can't believe they didn't put his name in the Daily News when they wrote about some other people who were at some event they were at. Howard said that he gets worn out from these conversations he has with Leslie.
Howard said that Leslie gave him some great information about Bon Jovi that he's going to reveal on Thursday. Leslie said ''I did not!'' so Howard said he was just kidding. Howard wished him a happy birthday but Leslie told him to kiss his ass and hung up. Howard had to go to break after that.
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Howard Calls A Steroid Hotline. 10/25/1988. 8:30am
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After the break Howard came back and said they were all caught up and had some spare time to just cruise along. He brought up an article in the paper about a steroid hotline that they could call to find out about steroids. He called the number and said that they love numbers like that because they can call and have some fun with them.
Howard got a doctor on the phone who said he had never heard of Howard Stern before. He was in Washington DC but said he was originally from Chicago.
Howard said they had a female athlete visiting them today and she had a question for him. It was Fred doing a deep voiced ''Martina'' who asked if she'd have problems if she spilled steroids on her testicles. The doctor said he wasn't sure if she'd have a problem with something like that. Howard told ''Martina'' that she sounded like Fred Mertz. He went into his Ricky Ricardo impression to go along with Fred's impression.
Howard asked the doctor if he's gotten any calls about this before. The doctor said they have about 15 lines and they're almost constantly lit up. He told Howard that the first use of anabolic steroids was for people who got out of the concentration camps in World War II to help them gain weight.
Howard asked the doctor if he thinks that Joe Piscopo is using steroids. The doctor said he thought he looked like an honest guy and he doesn't believe he is using them.
Howard told the doc that he just thought it would be fun to call and ask about the steroids. Tehy spent a few more minutes talking about the doctor's life and found out that he's black. THat gave Howard a whole other line of qustions for the guy. He was asking him if he's married to a black woman. The guy said he was but he really had to get back to work. Howard threw out a couple of jokes but the doc said he really ahd to get back to work. He was laughing through most of the call though.
Howard thanked the doctor a couple of times and kept tellling him he was going to let him go but he kept him on the line ofr a few more minutes. The doc said that he'd talk to them later but Howard knew that they'd never speak again. He made sure to let everyone know that Joe Piscopo doesn't really use steroids.
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Howard Tries To Make Up With Meg Griffin. 10/25/1988. 8:35am
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Howard had DJ Meg Griffin come in before they ended the show. He said he wanted to make up with her about something that had gone on with them. He played a clip of this new thing they had given Jackie on the station where he gets a minute to do a quick show. They sprung that on Meg because she had no idea what was going on.
Meg came in to talk about this thing with Jackie. She was also upset about something that they had played on the air and claimed it was an accident. Howard said that it really was a mistake and he'd take a polygraph test to prove it.
Meg told Robin that she met one of her friends who told her that she had a palm reading done. Robin told her that those people are pulling her leg because she doesn't do that stuff.
Howard told Meg that he really did hit the wrong tape the other day when he played the Tawana Brawley tape. He was trying to play a clip of Meg but it turned out to be the wrong one. Howard said that he wasn't trying to upset her and he wasn't going to replay it today.
Howard played the tape of Jackie doing his joke show during Meg's shift. He was telling a bunch of dopey jokes and Meg laughed at a couple of them. She said she was laughing at a bunch of them, they just couldn't hear them.
Howard asked Meg if it was that time of month when she got all upset with him last week. She said it wasn't that time. Howard played another clip of Jackie doing his thing during another one of Meg's shows. Jackie said that they asked him to do this thing as soon as possible so he rushed them on the air. Jackie blamed the station for making him do them the way he did. Howard blamed Jackie for all of that because he was the one demanding more air time.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Meg about her marriage and found out that she wasn't having sex with her boyfriend when she was working with Howard at WRNW. Howard found that hard to believe. He told Meg that she must be really uptight. He said that she was with him for like a year before she had sex with him then. He said she must be something else for that guy to go that long without having sex with her. Howard said that Robin processes men like cheese and he can't believe Meg went that long without her man.
Howard said that he was going to continue this conversation tomorrow. Robin threw in a couple more quick news stories before they wrapped up. Howard couldn't let the story about Meg's sex life drop so he asked her more about that. Meg didn't want to get into too many details but she did mention that her in-laws were on the honeymoon. Meg said that Howard was going to get her into trouble if he kept talking about this.
Howard said he has to go home and think about this some more tonight and come back tomorrow to talk more about it. He later said that he's never going to bring it up again, until tomorrow. He asked Meg to come in at 7 tomorrow morning. He wrapped up the show a short time later.
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Howard 100 News
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HOWARD STERN SHOW 2-22-08 MasterTape Theatre 10-25-88 64K MP3 CF
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Mastertape Theatre - October 25, 1988. 02/22/08. 6:00am
Times are f'd up because show was played out of order. ***
Howard Lectured About Breaks. 10/25/1988. 9:10am
Coming Up Today. 10/25/1988. 9:20am
Howard Left Off The List Of Elton John Concert Celebrity Attendees. 10/25/1988. 9:30am
Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 10/25/1988. 9:40am
Dopey Phone Caller. 10/25/1988. 6:00am
Robin's News. 10/25/1988. 6:15am
Howard Plays ''Confused'' Radio Movie. 10/25/1988. 7:00am
Various Discussions. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
Howard Resurrects Mamalookaboobooday. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
A Very Long Weight Loss Commercial. 10/25/1988. 7:25am
Howard Threatens To Reveal Info On Bon Jovi. 10/25/1988. 7:45am
Howard Calls Leslie West. 10/25/1988. 8:10am
Howard Calls A Steroid Hotline. 10/25/1988. 8:30am
Howard Tries To Make Up With Meg Griffin. 10/25/1988. 8:35am
Howard 100 News
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Friday, February 22, 2008
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Mastertape Theatre - October 25, 1988. 02/22/08. 6:00am
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Today's Mastertape Theatre replay was from October 25, 1988. They started today's replay at the wrong point, it was sometime in the middle of the show instead of the beginning. Nice. That really made it easy to type up today's show, all out of order.
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Howard Lectured About Breaks. 10/25/1988. 9:10am
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This was actually the start of the show, but since they started the replay at the wrong point earlier, the times are all frigged up. That's right, I said frigged up. How do they screw up the start of the show like that? Whatever. Here's the beginning of the show: Show opening bits and songs included: A clip of a sportscaster talking about how blacks try harder at sports than whites do, a clip of someone interviewing some woman about her accent, a cover of Led Zeppelin's ''Whole Lotta Love,'' a clip of Howard talking to a woman about censorship, a David Letterman intro.
Howard started off the show talking about how they had to get to all of the commercials on time today. He said he got a lecture from Tom Chiusano yesterday about that. Fred said he did too. Howard wasn't sure why he got the lectures all the time. He said that it's Robin's fault sometimes too. He said he called Tom to talk about something else and ended up getting this lecture.
Howard said that Robin is partly to blame because she'll tell him to wait before he goes to break when she reads her news. Howard said he got lectured for about 15 minutes yesterday. He said he really has to watch Fred and his signals that he has to break. Fred said that he'd do what he could but he couldn't just go right to commercial when Howard says break.
Howard asked what the smell was in the studio this morning. Fred blamed Gary but Gary said it wasn't him. Howard said that it smelled like garlic. Gary said he had some spaghetti last night but it wasn't garlic sauce. Howard checked the garbage but he didn't smell anything there. He said that it might be the microphone or something.
Gary said it really wasn't him so Howard said that he was awfully defensive about that. Howard said that maybe it's the seat that Maria was sitting in. He sniffed it and said that must be it.
Howard said he had a bunch of stuff to get to this morning. He ran down a few things and said he had to go to break. Robin said ''Wait a minute!'' but she was just joking about that.
After an edited out break Howard said that he took full responsibility for the breaks not being on time. He said that Tom was the one who was blaming everyone else.
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Coming Up Today. 10/25/1988. 9:20am
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Howard asked Gary to give them a rundown of what they were going to play today. Gary ran down some of the stuff they had to play today. He brought up the Elton John tapes and that led to Howard talking about John Bon Jovi and how they haven't been coming on the show. He said that he has a secret that he wants to reveal about them. He said that they used to be on the show all the time and lately they haven't been giving them a fair shake.
Gary said that he's been trying to get David on the show to do a dial-a-date but he hasn't been able to get in touch with him. He said that he did leave some messages for him but he only got one call back and missed that.
Howard said he's going to reveal this Bon Jovi thing later this week if he doesn't come on the show tomorrow. He said he will reveal it even though he knows that it's wrong morally. He said he has to resort to radio blackmail these days to get guests on the show. He said he feels really burned by Bon Jovi because they treated him like a superstar before they hit big. He said they had them on a couple of times but now there appears to be no payback from them.
Gary said that there's an article in the New York Times that basically says that the Bon Jovi album is bringing an end to pop music. They've sold 3 million copies of it already. Howard said that he heard that the new album isn't all that great. He said his niece was telling him that she doesn't like many of the songs on the album.
Howard said that rock bands seem to think that if they appear on his show, other stations won't want them on. He said that there is a real hate for his show in the radio industry. He said that they're so in awe of him that they'll do anything to keep people off his show.
Howard said that they can sell a lot of records on his show. He said that they could probably sell a lot more records through his show than they could on that dopey Z-100. He said he's not sure what he can do about that though.
Howard said that Bon Jovi should be thinking that he treated him well in the beginning and he should want to pay him back for that. Howard goofed on Scott Muni a little bit about the way he does interviews with guys like that. Howard spent a few minutes talking about Scott Muni and how weird he is with some of the shows he does. He did an impression of him talking about The Beatles like he always seems to do on his show.
Gary said they had some hate mail to read through today. He's also got some news stories for Howard to go through. They also want to call some lesbians today who want to do dial-a-date. He said they wanted to talk about the Elton John show list and about a guy who is selling John Lennon t-shirts.
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Howard Left Off The List Of Elton John Concert Celebrity Attendees. 10/25/1988. 9:30am
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Howard read an article about the Elton John concert where they listed the people who were there. He was left off the list. He read the article and they had Richie Sambora's name listed as ''Sambori.'' Howard talked some of the people he was hanging out with at the concert. One of them was the woman who owns Caroline's comedy club. He talked about her and how much she likes him because he helps sell out the club when comedians plug their shows on his show. He said that selling seats means soggy underwear for her.
Howard read through the rest of the list of people who were at the Elton John concert. They listed the people who were there on Saturday night, the night he was there, and left him off. He said that they mentioned Keith Hernandez, Shari Montgomery, Billy Joel and some others. Howard said that you'd think that people would want to know that he was there before they'd list Shari Montgomery. He said that they didn't even list Richard Lewis in that article.
Howard read through a live commercial for some product that took 4 D batteries. He complained about the way it was written because it sounded like it took ''40 batteries.'' He asked Gary to have the copy department change that so he can read it the right way. Howard said he thought they were talking about robin's vibrator with 4 D batteries. Robin said she doesn't need that much power, her's takes just C batteries.
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Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 10/25/1988. 9:40am
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After the commercials Howard went to the phones and took some calls. He took a call from Philly but no one was there. He went to a New York caller next. He didn't get to ask anything because Howard got sidetracked talking about something else. He was talking about how he wanted to talk to someone about this guy Mark Tinker from NBC who he thinks hates him.
Howard also talked about how his father used to give him a hard time about going to college for communications. He said that his father was right, he didn't need college for that. He has a deep voice and he can talk so that's about all he needed. He said that he did graduate Magna Cum Laude but it was for watching movies. Howard talked about some of the stuff that they would go over in college classes about how to program networks and stuff like that.
The caller on the line said that he can relate to his problems with his family trying to tell him how to eat. He said that he's got the same issues. Howard took some other calls and spent a few minutes talking to those fans and then went to break.
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Dopey Phone Caller. 10/25/1988. 6:00am
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Howard came back from a break and took a phone call from a guy who asked about the Greaseman down in Washington DC. Howard talked about how bad that guy is and how he replaced him down there in DC. Howard said that it might be time to bring back Mamalookaboobooday today.
The caller also asked if Robin has anything to say about Robin Givens since they both have the same name. Howard wondered if this guy was a communication's major or something. He wasn't really able to get his point across.
Howard went into an impression of the guy on the phone and asked him where he was from. He was from Maryland. Howard asked him if he was in retard classes in school. He said he wasn't. Howard asked him a few more questions about where he went to school and things like that. They ended up making fun of him after hearing where he went to school.
The caller said that he graduated with a math major so Howard asked him what he does. The guy said he's a forklift operator now. Robin said that education came in handy then. Howard said that his questions were a little dopey, that's why he was saying what he was saying.
Howard asked Robin to get back to her news and said he'd bring back Mamalookaboobooday during that. He let the caller go a short time later.
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Robin's News. 10/25/1988. 6:15am
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Howard had Robin read through some news stories. She read one about a building collapse in the city that happened when another building was being worked on. She had another story about some kids who killed some people. She spent a few minutes on that one. She had a story about Hedda Nusbaum and how she's going to walk free while her abusive husband is going to take the rap for what happened to their kids. Howard and Robin talked about that for a little while. Howard said he thinks that she should be in jail along with her husband.
Howard wanted to take a break but Robin wanted to read more about the Nusbaum thing. Howard let her do it but said she really has to let him run the show. She read one more story about Spin magazine putting condoms in their magazine. Howard ended up doing an impression of Bob Guccione Jr. and his father since Jr. the owner of that magazine.
Howard had a phone number for Bob Guccione Jr. so he tried calling him after Robin read the story. He said he was just trying to impress the audience by showing them that he has his number. Howard let the phone ring for a few minutes but no one was picking up. He gave up on the call and started doing more of his Bob Guccione impression when his microphone started to cut out. He wondered what kind of radio station he was working at where his microphone cuts him off.
Howard said that they had a K-Rock voter registration there at the station not too long ago and he signed up but he hasn't gotten anything confirming that he's registered. He said that guy Guido didn't let him know what happened. Gary said he'll have them check on that today.
Howard brought up Stuttering John and talked about how he's able to lose the stutter when he plays a character. Gary said that he'll leave messages on his machine in a British accent and he doesn't stutter. Howard said that Fred can be kind of long winded but when he's in character, he keeps things short. He's like a totally different person when he's doing characters.
Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about President Bush and about Michael Dukakis. Howard said he's not sure who he'd vote for if he knew he was registered to vote. He said he doesn't want to stand in a booth and try to figure out what local guys to vote for either.
Howard said that if he votes for a Democrat in the Presidential election, he'll usually vote republican in the local elections so they kind of cancel each other out.
Robin got back to her news and read through a bunch of various stories. She had one about Pat Sajak getting his own talk show. She said that he had dinner with Jack Parr so he could get some ideas for what to do on his own show. That led to Howard talking about what a no-talent Jack Parr was. That's why he lost his show and sits around showing old tapes of those old shows. Howard and Robin went through some more news and talked about the stuff she was reading. She wrapped up a short time later.
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Howard Plays ''Confused'' Radio Movie. 10/25/1988. 7:00am
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After the break Robin asked Howard if they should have a Halloween party. Howard didn't sound too interested in that. He wondered when Halloween was. Robin told him it was next Monday. He said he might do it then. They can have some fans come in dressed in costumes. He said he could dress in a tux and have the girls come in naked.
Howard said he was going to replay the radio movie they made about Dominic Barbara. He said this was based on the movie ''The Accused'' and they were calling it ''Confused.'' He played that and said they'll have another new one in a few days called ''I Love Uterine Cancer'' based on ''I Love Lucy.'' After Howard played the movie he went to break.
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Various Discussions. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
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After the edited out break Howard came back and talked about how he had been pleasuring himself last week to make sure he could fall asleep at night. He said that he knows that Fred does it but he won't admit it to him. Fred said he was doing it right then and he does it very often. Howard told Fred that he was just kidding and he really doesn't do that because he's married. He said he was just kidding about that too and said he really does do it.
Howard said that he's got a daughter who is 5 years old now and he should stop talking like that or she's going to know what he does for a living.
Howard said that his parents are like the complete opposite of him and they don't mind driving around in other countries and stuff. He said that they were over in Spain when they had some car trouble. He said that they had a guy who helped them out and the guy took the car for about 30 minutes and came back with the car fixed and didn't charge them anything. Howard said his father was telling him that the Spanish over there aren't like the Spanish here in this country.
Howard asked Robin if her parents travel to exotic places... like her apartment. She said that they haven't even been there.
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Howard Resurrects Mamalookaboobooday. 10/25/1988. 7:10am
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Howard moved on to do his Mamalookaboobooday character after that. He went to the traffic copter and spoke to his character. He said that it had been a long time since they spoke to him because they had gotten kind of burned out on him.
Mama and Robin talked about the traffic a little bit and then talked about some stuff that was in the news. Robin asked Mama about Oprah Winfrey and what he thinks of her. He said that he's actually writing a letter to Oprah and read some of that to Robin. He also said that he went to the college that the caller said he went to earlier in the show.
Mama's letter to Oprah talked about how he wants to get into her pants after she lost 90 pounds. He said that there's room in there for him now. He also said that he wants to have a baby girl with her and wants the baby to look just like Oprah. Then Robin asked him about his girlfriend, Loberta, who was in the chopper with him. Loberta (another Howard impression) went off on Mama for writing that letter to Oprah.
Mama got back to the letter to Oprah and talked about how nice it would be to lay in bed with her and how proud he'd be to be the father of her baby. He also described what the child would look like as a mix of Oprah and Mamalookaboobooday.
Mama said that he had a baby with his other girlfriend, Loberta, and he wants Oprah to know that. He continued to read the letter to Oprah and then Loberta went off on him for not ever proposing marriage to her. Robin told Mama that Oprah has a boyfriend. Mama said that she's been with him for a long time but he thinks that he could take his place. He also talked about how he pleasures himself every night, just like that Howard Stern.
Mama and Loberta went at each other a little bit. Then Mama said that's why Robin hasn't heard from him for a while now, because that Loberta hurts his voice.
Mama said he had to get going a short time later. Howard said goodbye to him and let him go. Howard went to a break after that.
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A Very Long Weight Loss Commercial. 10/25/1988. 7:25am
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He had a live commercial read that he was doing for a weight loss program. The sponsor had some people come in with one of the people who lost weight on the program. The guy said he lost 40 pounds in 8 weeks. Howard ended up going off on Gary for not helping out the guests the right way. He had to tell Gary to take her coat and purse. He told one woman to load him up like a mule.
Howard talked to the guy who lost the 40 pounds about the weight loss program. The guy talked about that a little bit but Howard asked him to talk softly because Robin was on the ''you know what'' today. Robin said he didn't have to go there.
Howard talked to this guy and his girlfriend for a couple of minutes. He asked the girlfriend about the weight loss thing and she said she lost 10 pounds herself. Howard asked her if she feels more sexy now that he's lost his weight. The guy said that he's too tired to do it but she's asking him to give it to her all the time.
Howard told the guy that he looks great and hopes he can keep the weight off. The guy said that he's on maintenance now and he thinks he'll be able to keep the weight off. Howard said he didn't appear to be any type of genius or anything either. The guy said that he works for a food distributor as a sales rep. Howard asked them if they have plans to get married. The guy asked Howard not to get him in trouble by going there.
Howard asked the woman about her boyfriend's penis size and she seemed to be saying that it looks bigger now but it's not all that big. He wrapped up with Rich and Karen a short time later.
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Howard Threatens To Reveal Info On Bon Jovi. 10/25/1988. 7:45am
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Howard came back from break and said he was going to impress the Washington DC listeners with a tape of Elton John. He said that they asked him to come on the show but his people apparently turned them down. He said they wanted David Crosby on the show but his people told them ''no'' over and over again. Then someone called David and asked him if he knew they were looking for him and he had no idea. Gary said that it's the book people who didn't want to book him on the show. He said that David's personal people like the show.
Howard said that he heard that Elton John's people were upset about something they thought he said but he claims he never said it. He said that they explained it to his people but they still didn't book him for the show. Gary said that they claim that they've booked him for the show in May. Howard said he knows something about Elton John that very few people know about him. He said that it could effect the people he loves.
Howard said that he's got some stuff on John Bon Jovi and if he doesn't come on the show by Thursday, he's going to reveal that too. He said that he has to tell John what it is he has on him. He told Gary to call Doc McGee so he can tell him what he has on John that he wants to reveal. He said that even Doc may not know this bit of information.
Howard said that John will be there tomorrow or Thursday because of this information he has. He said he can almost guarantee he'll be on. Gary came back in and said he tried calling Doc but the number was busy. Howard tried calling the number himself after that. He got an answering service that told him to wait on the line. Howard said that he's going to have to keep this information quiet so he may have to have Fred and Jackie leave the studio when he tells Doc what he has.
Howard got through to the secretary at Doc McGee's answering service. He was going to give her the message so he can give him a call back. Howard told her to ask Doc if he's aware that he has some information on a certain John Bon Jovi and he's going to reveal that information on Thursday if he doesn't show up by then.
Howard said he was falling in love with the woman on the phone because she was so polite and nice to him. He said that he was hearing her talking and thought that he had a feeling of love all of a sudden. He got back to the message and told her that he's going to reveal this information at 8:30 on Thursday morning. Robin asked him if he really wanted to do it that late, he might want to do it at 7:20. Howard said that the local Z-100 station used to give away money at that time because some dope told them that 7:20 is the time when most people are listening.
Howard finished off the message and asked if he had been a bad person to those guys. He had the woman read back the message so he knew that she had it right. The woman said that if she didn't get off the phone she was going to get fired. Howard asked her to stay on a little longer and make sure she had the message right.
Howard asked her some questions about Ireland since that's where she was from. She said that she moved over to the States many years ago. She spent a couple more minutes with him and kept trying to get off the line. Howard kept her talking though. She eventually got off the line. Howard said he always wanted to marry a receptionist.
Howard said he swears that he has information on Bon Jovi and he really is going to reveal it on Thursday. He said he had to take a break after that.
After an edited out break Howard said that he was driving everyone crazy with the Bon Jovi information. He said he has to blackmail people to get them in there though. He said that someone mailed him a letter years ago, about this thing and he thinks that it sounds like it could be true. He could make one phone call to verify it. He said he never had any interest in doing that before though.
Howard was in the middle of a live commercial so he went through that quickly. Fred dropped some carts during the commercial so Howard couldn't get through it without goofing on him. That led to Howard asking Fred for some sound effects and goofing on WYSP about the way they used to have wind chimes playing in the background. Now they have carts falling over as the sounds in the background. He juggled some carts around to make it sound like that was the new background noise for the station. Howard said that those carts are a pain in the ass.
Howard said that he wanted to get to the Elton John song but he kept messing around with the cart falling sound effects. Robin suggested that they hold a contest where people call in to win money when they hear the carts fall. Howard said that's a good idea and he demonstrated what that might sound like. He knocked over a pile of carts so people would know what to listen for.
Stuttering John came in and said that John Bon Jovi is leaving the country today and he wasn't going to be able to make it in there. Howard said that he's had it with them and he's still going to reveal the information he knows.
Gary came in and wanted to give them some prize information but Howard ended up yelling at him for kicking John out of his seat. Gary said he was just trying to give him some information and John got up himself.
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Howard Calls Leslie West. 10/25/1988. 8:10am
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Howard played the Elton John song that he performed live on one of his shows. Elton sang ''Why Isn't Howard Stern On TV.'' Howard said that Stuttering John asked him if that was Fred singing the song. He said that it was really Elton John, not Fred doing an impression.
Howard called Leslie West to verify that it wasn't him who gave the information about John Bon Jovi. Leslie picked up and said that he doesn't even know John Bon Jovi. Howard said that he was just kidding when he said that it was Leslie, and it was Robin who brought it up in the first place.
Howard talked to Leslie West about some other stuff after that. Leslie wanted to know what this information was but Howard said he can't reveal it until Thursday. Howard said that Leslie is always bringing up all kinds of stuff with him when they talk on the phone. He said that he tries to get things going with him that he doesn't need to.
Howard said that Leslie is like his sister, he calls up and said he can't believe they didn't put his name in the Daily News when they wrote about some other people who were at some event they were at. Howard said that he gets worn out from these conversations he has with Leslie.
Howard said that Leslie gave him some great information about Bon Jovi that he's going to reveal on Thursday. Leslie said ''I did not!'' so Howard said he was just kidding. Howard wished him a happy birthday but Leslie told him to kiss his ass and hung up. Howard had to go to break after that.
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Howard Calls A Steroid Hotline. 10/25/1988. 8:30am
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After the break Howard came back and said they were all caught up and had some spare time to just cruise along. He brought up an article in the paper about a steroid hotline that they could call to find out about steroids. He called the number and said that they love numbers like that because they can call and have some fun with them.
Howard got a doctor on the phone who said he had never heard of Howard Stern before. He was in Washington DC but said he was originally from Chicago.
Howard said they had a female athlete visiting them today and she had a question for him. It was Fred doing a deep voiced ''Martina'' who asked if she'd have problems if she spilled steroids on her testicles. The doctor said he wasn't sure if she'd have a problem with something like that. Howard told ''Martina'' that she sounded like Fred Mertz. He went into his Ricky Ricardo impression to go along with Fred's impression.
Howard asked the doctor if he's gotten any calls about this before. The doctor said they have about 15 lines and they're almost constantly lit up. He told Howard that the first use of anabolic steroids was for people who got out of the concentration camps in World War II to help them gain weight.
Howard asked the doctor if he thinks that Joe Piscopo is using steroids. The doctor said he thought he looked like an honest guy and he doesn't believe he is using them.
Howard told the doc that he just thought it would be fun to call and ask about the steroids. Tehy spent a few more minutes talking about the doctor's life and found out that he's black. THat gave Howard a whole other line of qustions for the guy. He was asking him if he's married to a black woman. The guy said he was but he really had to get back to work. Howard threw out a couple of jokes but the doc said he really ahd to get back to work. He was laughing through most of the call though.
Howard thanked the doctor a couple of times and kept tellling him he was going to let him go but he kept him on the line ofr a few more minutes. The doc said that he'd talk to them later but Howard knew that they'd never speak again. He made sure to let everyone know that Joe Piscopo doesn't really use steroids.
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Howard Tries To Make Up With Meg Griffin. 10/25/1988. 8:35am
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Howard had DJ Meg Griffin come in before they ended the show. He said he wanted to make up with her about something that had gone on with them. He played a clip of this new thing they had given Jackie on the station where he gets a minute to do a quick show. They sprung that on Meg because she had no idea what was going on.
Meg came in to talk about this thing with Jackie. She was also upset about something that they had played on the air and claimed it was an accident. Howard said that it really was a mistake and he'd take a polygraph test to prove it.
Meg told Robin that she met one of her friends who told her that she had a palm reading done. Robin told her that those people are pulling her leg because she doesn't do that stuff.
Howard told Meg that he really did hit the wrong tape the other day when he played the Tawana Brawley tape. He was trying to play a clip of Meg but it turned out to be the wrong one. Howard said that he wasn't trying to upset her and he wasn't going to replay it today.
Howard played the tape of Jackie doing his joke show during Meg's shift. He was telling a bunch of dopey jokes and Meg laughed at a couple of them. She said she was laughing at a bunch of them, they just couldn't hear them.
Howard asked Meg if it was that time of month when she got all upset with him last week. She said it wasn't that time. Howard played another clip of Jackie doing his thing during another one of Meg's shows. Jackie said that they asked him to do this thing as soon as possible so he rushed them on the air. Jackie blamed the station for making him do them the way he did. Howard blamed Jackie for all of that because he was the one demanding more air time.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Meg about her marriage and found out that she wasn't having sex with her boyfriend when she was working with Howard at WRNW. Howard found that hard to believe. He told Meg that she must be really uptight. He said that she was with him for like a year before she had sex with him then. He said she must be something else for that guy to go that long without having sex with her. Howard said that Robin processes men like cheese and he can't believe Meg went that long without her man.
Howard said that he was going to continue this conversation tomorrow. Robin threw in a couple more quick news stories before they wrapped up. Howard couldn't let the story about Meg's sex life drop so he asked her more about that. Meg didn't want to get into too many details but she did mention that her in-laws were on the honeymoon. Meg said that Howard was going to get her into trouble if he kept talking about this.
Howard said he has to go home and think about this some more tonight and come back tomorrow to talk more about it. He later said that he's never going to bring it up again, until tomorrow. He asked Meg to come in at 7 tomorrow morning. He wrapped up the show a short time later.
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Howard 100 News
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